10 Random Poker Quotes

• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "The lucky player is usually the player that knows how much to leave to chance." flintsword
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"