10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson