10 Random Poker Quotes

• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."