10 Random Poker Quotes

• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen