10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Poker is for loners.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!