10 Random Poker Quotes

• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• I suck, therefore I suck out. North Shore Mike
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.