10 Random Poker Quotes

• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• This site pulls more flushes than a public restroom!!!
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Darwin takes a toll on the worst poker players because they lose money, Darwin takes a toll on average poker players because they don't make money and they will never be a great poker players, Darwin takes the greatest toll though, on the greatest poker players, because they could be doing something greater.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus