10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester