10 Random Poker Quotes

• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.