10 Random Poker Quotes

• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• The only thing you lose by folding is the opportunity to win.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.