10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.