10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• Welcome to kicker school
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.