10 Random Poker Quotes

• You have to piss with the dick you have
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.