10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Fook the floosh droo!