10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus