10 Random Poker Quotes

• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• Poker - love the pain or play checkers. - MoeSyzslak
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com