10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water