10 Random Poker Quotes

• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• im going to 2 out you to death
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.