10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Welcome to kicker school
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.