10 Random Poker Quotes

• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.