10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders