10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.