10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."