10 Random Poker Quotes

• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.