10 Random Poker Quotes

• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it