10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Wise man say, "man who seeks revenge, should did two graves" ActionDave
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus