10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'