10 Random Poker Quotes

• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear