10 Random Poker Quotes

• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.