10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm