10 Random Poker Quotes

• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"