10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• "I'd rather be lucky than good" - Lefty Gomez
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.