10 Random Poker Quotes

• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth