10 Random Poker Quotes

• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• I'd rather be good than lucky, I'd rather be lucky than lose...
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.