10 Random Poker Quotes

• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• I'm enough of a dreamer to realize it might have been that elusive something a gambler calls luck. But, I'm also enough of a realist to know that in general we make our own luck - through knowledge, skill and experience.- Doyle Brunson
• Don't challenge strong players, challange weak ones. That's what they're there for. - John Vorhaus, author of Killer Poker