10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.