10 Random Poker Quotes

• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright