10 Random Poker Quotes

• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.