10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus