10 Random Poker Quotes

• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--