10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Poker - love the pain or play checkers. - MoeSyzslak
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it