10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "I could make a crazy call on you..." Sammy Farhah to Chris Moneymaker at the final table when Moneymaker went all in.
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."