10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• Darwin takes a toll on the worst poker players because they lose money, Darwin takes a toll on average poker players because they don't make money and they will never be a great poker players, Darwin takes the greatest toll though, on the greatest poker players, because they could be doing something greater.
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'