10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!