10 Random Poker Quotes

• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.