10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• "The lucky player is usually the player that knows how much to leave to chance." flintsword
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• In order to live, you must be willing to die - Amir Vahedi
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.