10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.