10 Random Poker Quotes

• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)