10 Random Poker Quotes

• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• You have to piss with the dick you have