10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.